I love him. Is there hope for us?

TLC ilovehimistherehopBloglinked

Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

Oops, I Did It Again (Nice Gal Mistake)


(this is personal)Oops, I did it again. Despite my undeniable spiritual connection to my partner, I unconsciously chose a man who wanted me to take care of him and fix his problems. I walked into a bit of a blended family, post-divorce mess. Yikes. Which means… part of me was a MESS as well. RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU WANT.There’s no blame here, I take complete responsibility for attracting from my nice gal pattern. Plus, admitting all the ways, I … [Read more...]

Fall In Love With Reality, Not Potential

fall in love reality wedding day couple

I love a good love story!Like all great love stories, couples who last wanted the same things, are ready for love and share mutual feelings of respect and adoration.Their love, compatibility and readiness are completely mutual!If we look at this example – the formula for choosing a relationship is really quite simple.She’s ready, into you and you want the same things– it’s a go.She’s not ready but into you- it’s not a go. He’s ready, into to you, and you share a vision of your … [Read more...]

Q&A: He’s Got Me, Now He’s lazy. What do I do to get my man to pay attention to me?

lazy custom infographic

My Man is LAZY.  What do I do to get him to pay attention to me?My man and I dated 3 years and living together 2 years exactly. 4 months ago he proposed, I was so happy. Anyway, we work opposite shifts so we hardly get time to do things together as a couple. However, the off days and free time he does have, he spends sleeping or watch's television. It’s been months since he has suggested or made any effort to steal my heart or show me how much he loves me. His very caring and sweet, but I a … [Read more...]

Q&A: How do I motivate my man to value me and make a commitment?

Attractive Woman Listening to Her Boyfriend

Dear Maryjane, I value your opinion very much. What would you suggest I do to motivate a 52 year old boyfriend of 3 years to prioritize our relationship, value my wishes/needs more and to start thinking in terms of some type of commitment to our future and happiness? Thanks a lot. Alvina Thank You Alvina, you brought up an important and valuable question: How do I motivate my man to value me and make a commitment? Nice Gals ask me this question all the time! Because by being too nice, too … [Read more...]

Q&A- How ToTell He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend

Q&A: How Can I Tell if He Wants to Be My Boyfriend? When should I stop dating others and become exclusive? Dear Maryjane No one has ever made as much sense as you plus incorporating the ‘I’ in We. I Love it. You have a gift! Anyway I've been through my share of nice gal problems by giving too much and trying to be perfect, plus facing disappointment after a divorce. Now I have healthy relationship unfolding and not sure if I should end all communications with other men and be secure … [Read more...]

Q&A: Is He Afraid to Commit OR ‘Just Not That Into You’?

Dear Maryjane, I am 54 and have been seeing a guy who is 57 casually for 9 months. We both are the primary caregivers for our teenage children, plus we live an hour apart, so getting together is hard. We text every day and see each other once or twice a week. We both get hurt easily and are scared of being hurt in a relationship. But he tells me that he is not in to me as much as I am into him, so he will not commit. What do I do to turn that around as he is fairly controlling? Gail Dear … [Read more...]

How to Avoid An Imaginary Relationship: (He Only Dates Me Online)

Love Coach Q&A Dear maryjane, I met this guy 14 years ago through MySpace and we have been friends ever since. We dated on and off for a while online and then just stopped talking. We reconnected when I was engaged and a few months later when I called off my wedding I asked him to come to visit me which he was all for. Then we continued to online date for the next few months while he continued to serve in the army. We talked 24/7 and the last 2 weeks of our relationship he just stopped … [Read more...]

Fighting for His Love?! Why Brooks Isn’t Desiree Hartsock’s One

By Maryjane Kapteyn I am a huge Desiree Hartsock Bachelorette Fan. So much so that I actually took the time to watch this season’s bachelorette because she’s such a sweet, genuine, big-hearted, classy, earthy, strong and beautiful woman. I love Desiree and like you, I have been rooting for her happy true love ending. After Monday’s heart wrenching part-one season finale, I searched a few recap articles for Desiree’s response and I bumped into an article advising Desiree to fight for … [Read more...]

Goddess or Doormat?


Pablo Picasso said, "There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats." Which are you? Do you give more than you get? Do you sacrifice and accommodate to please because you fear losing your man’s love? Do you get super excited and subtly or overtly design your life around your man- becoming too available? Do you compromise your values to keep his love or put your dreams aside? Do you put his needs before your own and believe that by fulfilling him – he’ll be … [Read more...]