I love him. Is there hope for us?

TLC ilovehimistherehopBloglinked

Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

Oops, I Did It Again (Nice Gal Mistake)


(this is personal)Oops, I did it again. Despite my undeniable spiritual connection to my partner, I unconsciously chose a man who wanted me to take care of him and fix his problems. I walked into a bit of a blended family, post-divorce mess. Yikes. Which means… part of me was a MESS as well. RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU WANT.There’s no blame here, I take complete responsibility for attracting from my nice gal pattern. Plus, admitting all the ways, I … [Read more...]

Are You Insecure, Or Is A Player, Non-Committal Man Driving You To Unworthiness?

Insecure or dating Mr Wrong?

By Maryjane Kapteyn Needy. Clingy. Desperate. Insecure. YUCK!  The dreaded words you never want to hear from a man... let alone admit you sometimes feel. So, the big question is.... Are you driving a man away with your insecure ways, OR is the relationship driving you into insecurity. Is it YOU or is it him? It’s YOU...if Your man is consistently attentive and affectionate but no amount of reassurance ever makes you feel SURE or SAFE more than temporarily. You carry fears of … [Read more...]

Fighting for His Love?! Why Brooks Isn’t Desiree Hartsock’s One

By Maryjane Kapteyn I am a huge Desiree Hartsock Bachelorette Fan. So much so that I actually took the time to watch this season’s bachelorette because she’s such a sweet, genuine, big-hearted, classy, earthy, strong and beautiful woman. I love Desiree and like you, I have been rooting for her happy true love ending. After Monday’s heart wrenching part-one season finale, I searched a few recap articles for Desiree’s response and I bumped into an article advising Desiree to fight for … [Read more...]

Goddess or Doormat?


Pablo Picasso said, "There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats." Which are you? Do you give more than you get? Do you sacrifice and accommodate to please because you fear losing your man’s love? Do you get super excited and subtly or overtly design your life around your man- becoming too available? Do you compromise your values to keep his love or put your dreams aside? Do you put his needs before your own and believe that by fulfilling him – he’ll be … [Read more...]

Q&A- Should I Wait or Should I Go?


Q&A - Should I Wait or Should I Go? Hi Maryjane I need your advice. I don’t know if I'm doing the right thing or not. My ex and I broke up towards the end of March. He was caught cheating by my friends. We broke up and didn’t talk for 2 months. We started talking again end of May about trying to patch things up and maybe getting back together. He said he's not ready right now cause he needs to work on some personal issues i.e going back to school, family dynamics etc. These issues … [Read more...]

7 Ways to Avoid Being Clingy

By Maryjane Kapteyn Okay, you’re dating a new guy you really like and everything is going great until WHAM! You see the telltale sign – he pulls away, gets busy, snappy, distant or preoccupied. For example, he hasn’t called in days, cute or romantic text messages have slowed or stopped, he’s late for your date or on a date he acts disinterested, preoccupied or dismissive. Now, you’re triggered. Your mind begins to race, your face gets hot and palms begin to sweat; you begin to feel … [Read more...]

The Non-Committal Man


Desperate, Insecure and Uncertain... or Just with the Wrong Man?  Memorize and imbed this next understanding– it’s my juicy, I know it from my own PAST shi*ty love experiences and my clients concur. It’s going to save you a lot of wasted time and stop you from rehashing that crazy stupid “what’s wrong with me?! And I’m not good enough stuff. Yuck! So, here it is... drum roll please... “You are either insecure or the man your with is making you FEEL insecure.” If you’re … [Read more...]

Nice Gal & The Bad Boy: Why You Get Hooked Part Two


Part Two Have you ever wasted your TIME and big heart on an unavailable man who prefers to keep things “casual” rather than create a real, lasting and loving partnership with you? The psychological appeal to the bad boy is that you never know if he likes you or if he’ll stick around. What you experience as excitement and the thrill of infatuation or romance, I call, anxiety, uncertainty and being on edge. Never knowing where you stand triggers a primal reaction to please him, give to … [Read more...]

Nice Gal & The Bad Boy: Are You Choosing What You Want or What You Need? Part One


  Have you ever wasted your TIME and big heart on an unavailable man who prefers to keep things “casual” rather than create a real, lasting and loving partnership with you? Well it sucks! As a nice gal, you get so attached, you love big and it feels so hard to let go.  The key is to AVOID loving a man who cannot love you back and cannot give you the kind of relationship you truly deserve and desire. There are clear signs that signal the unavailable man and ways to not confuse him … [Read more...]