How To Find Your Perfect Relationship-Ready Man

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You ARE a good catch. Being sweet, kind, generous, nurturing and understanding is what men want… …Until you go to far and give so much of yourself, he values and respects you less. Being too nice is a big mistake when it comes to dating and relationships...and THAT is why some awesome man hasn't snagged you. The good news is that I know what those mistakes are, and I can teach you how to fix them. In fact, if you actually follow my advice and the step-by-step plan I've laid out in … [Read more...]

You’re Worth Loving!

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By Maryjane KapteynMy message is strong and persistent: ‘You’re Worth Loving'.Life radically and beautifully changes when you know your worth, without it the COST is too great.If I had felt WORTHY walking into my adulthood, all the success, happiness and love I desired would not have eluded me. I would not have endured so much disappointment and pain. I would not have lost my money, my time, my well being, my health, my happiness and my self-esteem hoping a man would love me.I would not have … [Read more...]

The Hook that Causes Nice Gals to Choose Unavailable Men

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           Have you ever wondered why you attract emotionally unavailable, flawed, needy, insecure or broken men?Being nice is the source of your attraction. The reason you behave too nice isn’t your fault. In fact, it likely feels natural to be nice, a part of your identity and personality. Same holds true for the kind of men you feel attracted to – you can’t help it- right?What if I said you could, over time, re-wire your … [Read more...]

I love him. Is there hope for us?

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Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

Oops, I Did It Again (Nice Gal Mistake)

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(this is personal)Oops, I did it again. Despite my undeniable spiritual connection to my partner, I unconsciously chose a man who wanted me to take care of him and fix his problems. I walked into a bit of a blended family, post-divorce mess. Yikes. Which means… part of me was a MESS as well. RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU WANT.There’s no blame here, I take complete responsibility for attracting from my nice gal pattern. Plus, admitting all the ways, I … [Read more...]

Nice Gal Emotional Styles

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Have you ever wondered why smart, capable and amazing women engage in self-defeating behaviors that undermined their love success? Why we play nice and polite, giving in to his wishes and wants while staying silent about our needs.  Why we settle for attraction and attention from Mr. Wrong when we’re really craving real genuine love and acceptance. Why we feel afraid he’ll cheat or leave, needing constant validation and reassurance, even when there are no signs of betrayal and he’s … [Read more...]

Progress, Not Perfection

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One of my favorite things about life is that there are so many chances to start over. Day by day, step-by-step we can make more loving choices: learning from missteps and disappointments and add more of what brings us closer to happiness, freedom, love and joy. Each morning you can make a decision about HOW your day unfolds. I know I don’t get it perfect. I mess up all the time. Especially, when I put pressure on myself to do it all, be everything to everyone, and fear disappointing others … [Read more...]

Are You Too Nice? The Cost of Being Agreeable

BigHeart’s are by nature agreeable, kind, accommodating, loving, generous, optimistic, trusting and helpful. they're softhearted and prone to random acts of altruistic kindness without need for reward. All lovely and likeable qualities until... ...Conflict arises, compromise or over-giving builds up resentment, your trust is betrayed or choices need to be made that can’t please everyone. You know I love you, but too much of the ‘nice gal (or guy) behavior turns out to not be so good. … [Read more...]

7 Ways to Avoid Being Clingy

By Maryjane Kapteyn Okay, you’re dating a new guy you really like and everything is going great until WHAM! You see the telltale sign – he pulls away, gets busy, snappy, distant or preoccupied. For example, he hasn’t called in days, cute or romantic text messages have slowed or stopped, he’s late for your date or on a date he acts disinterested, preoccupied or dismissive. Now, you’re triggered. Your mind begins to race, your face gets hot and palms begin to sweat; you begin to feel … [Read more...]

Why You Don’t Need To Love Yourself Perfectly to Find Love

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Excerpts from my book: "Falling In Love With Me".   I know you know this - you've heard it a thousand times - "you need to love yourself before anyone else will love you." And this isn't entirely true. Love finds a way. Love is your constant teacher in every moment of reflection, interaction and self-action. I can count numerous instances when love showed up, even when I or another person didn't feel completely worthy, deserving, safe, trusting or open.  Thank goodness! If you wait until … [Read more...]