I love him. Is there hope for us?

TLC ilovehimistherehopBloglinked

Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

Oops, I Did It Again (Nice Gal Mistake)


(this is personal)Oops, I did it again. Despite my undeniable spiritual connection to my partner, I unconsciously chose a man who wanted me to take care of him and fix his problems. I walked into a bit of a blended family, post-divorce mess. Yikes. Which means… part of me was a MESS as well. RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU WANT.There’s no blame here, I take complete responsibility for attracting from my nice gal pattern. Plus, admitting all the ways, I … [Read more...]

Q&A: My Boyfriend No Longer Cares

Angry woman

Hi, Maryjane,My name is Yen, and I am from San Jose, California. My boyfriend and I have been together close to two years. I remember at the beginning of the relationship he was so sweet, kind, and caring to me. But I notice that ever since he got a new job and has been working overtime, he hardly cares about my feelings anymore. I tried many times to tell him how I feel, but he gets angry at me, ignores my feelings, and calls me mean names, which hurts me more. I really love my boyfriend very … [Read more...]

50 Shades of Losing You In Him

Man and woman in sexual clothes

“Fifty shades of Grey” by E.L James touted as 2014 mommy porn speaks to the universal desire to surrender, let go and be lead by a powerful man. Under close scrutiny, rather than being an inspiring work of female sexual empowerment, this erotic novel is really the textbook for 50 ways to lose yourself in a man. If you find yourself falling head over heels in love to the point that you give up parts of you to feel alive, desired and loved… this blog is for you.I’ll share the missteps and … [Read more...]

50 Shades of a Toxic Relationship

Gorgeous blonde and handsome man

Fifty Shades of Grey hits theaters today and let’s be honest who doesn’t want to see Jamie Dornan steaming up the screen– hhhheeellllo HOT!While the idea of losing control and losing yourself in a man makes for a great fantasy – the real life version is not so hot or glamorous.In fact, it can be downright degrading, soul-sucking and damaging.I know first hand. I fell for a man who appeared to be everything I wanted and lavished me with an unreal amount of attention and affection, … [Read more...]

The ‘Real Love’ “7 Ways to Make a Man Miss You”.


By maryjane Kapteyn There are ways to make a man miss you and they don’t involve being a doormat or a martyr and risking the loss of his affections by making yourself seems less desirable by desperately over-giving. You can make the right man miss you by being irresistibly confident, secure, worthy and sweet. Here’s how! Be Less Available. Not because you’re playing a game, not because you’re trying to make him jump through hoops and earn the privilege of being with you, but because … [Read more...]

The Non-Committal Man


Desperate, Insecure and Uncertain... or Just with the Wrong Man?  Memorize and imbed this next understanding– it’s my juicy, I know it from my own PAST shi*ty love experiences and my clients concur. It’s going to save you a lot of wasted time and stop you from rehashing that crazy stupid “what’s wrong with me?! And I’m not good enough stuff. Yuck! So, here it is... drum roll please... “You are either insecure or the man your with is making you FEEL insecure.” If you’re … [Read more...]

Nice Gal & The Bad Boy: Why You Get Hooked Part Two


Part Two Have you ever wasted your TIME and big heart on an unavailable man who prefers to keep things “casual” rather than create a real, lasting and loving partnership with you? The psychological appeal to the bad boy is that you never know if he likes you or if he’ll stick around. What you experience as excitement and the thrill of infatuation or romance, I call, anxiety, uncertainty and being on edge. Never knowing where you stand triggers a primal reaction to please him, give to … [Read more...]

I like You, But I Like Me More


It’s subtle or not so subtle, but the habit of over-giving and over-functioning creeps in the minute you really start liking” a guy. In fact, the more feelings you have, the more excited you are about the idea of him, the more you crave his time and attention, the greater danger you are of losing you, to him. Nice Gals do this all the time. It’s easy to get caught up in the thrill, excitement and hope of a new relationship and forget about putting you first. It’s fun, romantic and it … [Read more...]

Over-Giver’s Anonymous: ‘13 WAYS TO MAKE HIM MISS YOU’ ??!!!


Browsing the world of dating advice, I bumped into an article called“7 Ways to Make Him Miss You” By Heather Jensen (a.k.a. HJ)Yet, another “full fat, full sugar taste without the calories” manufactured dating junk food – that promises to leave you satisfied with the fool-proof ways to drive him crazy, make him miss you, like you, choose you and fall in love with you... because guys are tough and confusing and trying to learn all of the different ways to ‘get love’ is so hard! But … [Read more...]