I love him. Is there hope for us?

TLC ilovehimistherehopBloglinked

Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

Oops, I Did It Again (Nice Gal Mistake)


(this is personal)Oops, I did it again. Despite my undeniable spiritual connection to my partner, I unconsciously chose a man who wanted me to take care of him and fix his problems. I walked into a bit of a blended family, post-divorce mess. Yikes. Which means… part of me was a MESS as well. RELATIONSHIPS ARE A MIRROR. YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU WANT.There’s no blame here, I take complete responsibility for attracting from my nice gal pattern. Plus, admitting all the ways, I … [Read more...]

Q&A- How ToTell He Wants to Be Your Boyfriend

Q&A: How Can I Tell if He Wants to Be My Boyfriend? When should I stop dating others and become exclusive? Dear Maryjane No one has ever made as much sense as you plus incorporating the ‘I’ in We. I Love it. You have a gift! Anyway I've been through my share of nice gal problems by giving too much and trying to be perfect, plus facing disappointment after a divorce. Now I have healthy relationship unfolding and not sure if I should end all communications with other men and be secure … [Read more...]

Hey Nice Gal! Are you Trying Too Hard to Find Love?


 Ever heard the old adage, “It will happen when you aren’t looking”? This statement used to frustrate and infuriate me. Mostly because I feared it was true. Being a sensitive perfectionist I believed in taking action to make things happen. Love was no different. I thought that pushing for what I wanted meant I was being responsible; that effort and persistence was the guaranteed path to finding love. I just felt this incessant anxiety and uncertainty around my love life wanting so badly … [Read more...]

Hey Nice Gal! STILL SINGLE? Choose A Man Who is Open to Love

 Choose a man open to love. Sounds obvious, doesn't it? Well I'll be the first to admit that I have altered, changed, obsessed and thought about how to act around a man so he wouldn’t reject me. I would wonder HOW I could show him what a great gal I was (worth catching)...be NICE, attractive, interesting etc. so he would want to get to know me and patient and understanding if he wasn’t ready to commit or didn’t know how he felt about me. Another way of looking at this is: I didn’t … [Read more...]

Are You Insecure, Or Is A Player, Non-Committal Man Driving You To Unworthiness?

Insecure or dating Mr Wrong?

By Maryjane Kapteyn Needy. Clingy. Desperate. Insecure. YUCK!  The dreaded words you never want to hear from a man... let alone admit you sometimes feel. So, the big question is.... Are you driving a man away with your insecure ways, OR is the relationship driving you into insecurity. Is it YOU or is it him? It’s YOU...if Your man is consistently attentive and affectionate but no amount of reassurance ever makes you feel SURE or SAFE more than temporarily. You carry fears of … [Read more...]

Are You Too Nice? The Cost of Being Agreeable

BigHeart’s are by nature agreeable, kind, accommodating, loving, generous, optimistic, trusting and helpful. they're softhearted and prone to random acts of altruistic kindness without need for reward. All lovely and likeable qualities until... ...Conflict arises, compromise or over-giving builds up resentment, your trust is betrayed or choices need to be made that can’t please everyone. You know I love you, but too much of the ‘nice gal (or guy) behavior turns out to not be so good. … [Read more...]

Calm is the New Happy: Dating Mistakes to Avoid in Your 20’s, 30’s & 40’s


Yesterday, while enjoying a cool mango smoothie I bumped into an article in September addition of Health Magazine “ Why Calm is the New Happy”. I just about fell off my chair for the intuitive hit of confirmation it reflected in my own experience. Maybe it can support you in the type of happiness you most desire and how to date in a way that supports you to fulfill your relationship dream. Years before, I met my amazing man, I intended a clear set of signs that would let me know with … [Read more...]

The ‘Real Love’ “7 Ways to Make a Man Miss You”.


By maryjane Kapteyn There are ways to make a man miss you and they don’t involve being a doormat or a martyr and risking the loss of his affections by making yourself seems less desirable by desperately over-giving. You can make the right man miss you by being irresistibly confident, secure, worthy and sweet. Here’s how! Be Less Available. Not because you’re playing a game, not because you’re trying to make him jump through hoops and earn the privilege of being with you, but because … [Read more...]

Goddess or Doormat?


Pablo Picasso said, "There are only two types of women - goddesses and doormats." Which are you? Do you give more than you get? Do you sacrifice and accommodate to please because you fear losing your man’s love? Do you get super excited and subtly or overtly design your life around your man- becoming too available? Do you compromise your values to keep his love or put your dreams aside? Do you put his needs before your own and believe that by fulfilling him – he’ll be … [Read more...]