I love him. Is there hope for us?

TLC ilovehimistherehopBloglinked

Hi Maryjane!I’m currently in a long distance relationship with a guy I’ve known half my life. He and I reconnected six months ago and immediately hit it off.However, he is currently in the final stages of a long, contested divorce, plus a young child I’ve never met. I simply adore this man; he has all the wonderful qualities I’ve been looking for in someone and vice versa but it has been gut-wrenching to see him process the pain of the divorce alone from so far away, not being able to do … [Read more...]

You Gotta Want It, Chickie!

NMNG gottawantitchickie

 Do you want to lose weight, grow in wealth, get fit, elevate your career or find love?Well, you gotta want it.I know saying you have to want something may sound obvious, but here’s what I mean.Let's say you have a goal to lose weight.You must want to the lose the weight and become that skinny person more than you want to eat, more than you want the emotional comfort food provides you. You must want to lose weight so intently, that you are utterly undeterred and entirely focused on that … [Read more...]

Q&A Dropped Like A Bad Habit.

A photo of sexual beautiful girl is in fashion style

Hi Maryjane,I'm a lost soul & stranger to most and even myself. I was in a committed, engaged relationship for five years that went into a toxic state of constant arguments; trust issues, miscommunication, and dependency. We loved hard & fought hard. I fixated on past issues that never let us move forward. He encouraged me to work on myself, and so I moved out of town hoping distance would help. Instead, I made work a priority and didn't treat him with dignity or respect. I yelled & … [Read more...]

50 Shades of Losing You In Him

Man and woman in sexual clothes

“Fifty shades of Grey” by E.L James touted as 2014 mommy porn speaks to the universal desire to surrender, let go and be lead by a powerful man. Under close scrutiny, rather than being an inspiring work of female sexual empowerment, this erotic novel is really the textbook for 50 ways to lose yourself in a man. If you find yourself falling head over heels in love to the point that you give up parts of you to feel alive, desired and loved… this blog is for you.I’ll share the missteps and … [Read more...]

Nice Gal Emotional Styles

Fashion romantic blonde over pink barbie doll style

Have you ever wondered why smart, capable and amazing women engage in self-defeating behaviors that undermined their love success? Why we play nice and polite, giving in to his wishes and wants while staying silent about our needs.  Why we settle for attraction and attention from Mr. Wrong when we’re really craving real genuine love and acceptance. Why we feel afraid he’ll cheat or leave, needing constant validation and reassurance, even when there are no signs of betrayal and he’s … [Read more...]

Why Is He Acting Hot & Cold?

Why is he acting hot and cold?

Dear Maryjane, I’m dating a guy who is hot and cold. When we’re together it’s great but after he disappears for weeks at a time. I’m so confused by his ability to ignore me?! When I texted him saying, “ I can’t tell you what to do and if you don’t want to be with me I can’t change that”, he reappears.  He’s still in love with his ex and has many complications in his life but they’re all things I have solutions for. I can’t stand being away from him for weeks at a time … [Read more...]

Is He My Guy? 5 Misleading Messages Men Send

Is he my guy- misleading message men send

Q&A – Is He My Guy? 5 Misleading Messages Men Send Dear Maryjane, I’m dating this guy; at least I think I am. He calls everyday, we hang out together alone and sometimes in a group 1-2x times a week. I am so happy with him and I can tell he has a good time. He makes me laugh and everything feels easy. After a few weeks we became intimate and I just assumed he was my boyfriend. I’ve fallen for this guy, but every so often, he makes little comments about whether I’m dating yet or how … [Read more...]

Unlucky in Love? Why You Should Keep Trying


I don’t believe luck has anything to do with finding love. Are there a few people who easily find love, with all the fixing’s? Yes, but you and I aren’t one of those people. We’re the one’s who feel unlucky in love, left out and frustrated. It seems so EASY for others and so damn hard for us. We painfully watch everyone else get fall in love and get married, wondering... ‘When will it be my turn?’ ‘Am I so unlovable?’ ‘What’s wrong with me?’ ‘Why am I still … [Read more...]

Q&A: Why Men Disappear

Hey Maryjane, I'm reaching out to you because there's a guy who was in my life that is constantly on my mind. We were seeing each other for an entire month and every time it was so much fun. We were always texting each other. He made me laugh and we shared many things in common. I've helped him out also. I'm extremely attracted to him and felt an amazing connection, which breaks me up inside because he is no longer there. It’s been two weeks since we’ve spoken. I called him from my home … [Read more...]

Are You Insecure, Or Is A Player, Non-Committal Man Driving You To Unworthiness?

Insecure or dating Mr Wrong?

By Maryjane Kapteyn Needy. Clingy. Desperate. Insecure. YUCK!  The dreaded words you never want to hear from a man... let alone admit you sometimes feel. So, the big question is.... Are you driving a man away with your insecure ways, OR is the relationship driving you into insecurity. Is it YOU or is it him? It’s YOU...if Your man is consistently attentive and affectionate but no amount of reassurance ever makes you feel SURE or SAFE more than temporarily. You carry fears of … [Read more...]