Nice Gal Beliefs That Block Love

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Intellectually you know loving you is important. Like, exercise, drinking plenty of water, resting and get plenty of sleep. If it’s one of the essential things that keep you balanced, healthy and emotionally thriving, why is last the list of things to do?

Here’s what may be holding you back from loving you and attracting the relationship you want.

You Feel Guilty Putting You First

You naturally give more than you receive, so putting you first feels wrong, selfish or vain. By giving to you, you believe you’re taking away from another. Pleasing and supporting is likely how you make a living, ‘the role’ given by your family and the expectation of friends.  Giving is how you secure love and feel valued.

Challenging the belief that your worth is dependent on what you give, means remembering all the times you gave to get, feeling the sting of obligating, not inspiring another’s love. Or the times you felt burnt out, exhausted, resentful or hurt because people didn’t show up for you in your time of need.

Unconditional acceptance and being liked just for you is far more fulfilling and gratifying than being valued for what you do. Being needed is a poor substitute for being loved.

The best way to inspire free, unconditional and delightful love is from a place of self-fullness. Make you a priority and others will treat you the same.

You’re Waiting For Perfect

There’s this mythical idea of the perfect time. The moment when you feel you’ve finally done enough, know enough or are enough to ALLOW yourself the privilege of feeling good and being loved.

The internal demand that you perform self-love perfectly, not unlike most things in your life, is pressure enough to make you STOP before you even START.

Waiting until you think you’re worthy enough, good enough and perfect enough to allow love, you may wait forever.

The ‘never enough’ belief convincingly tries to make you believe, you must do more, have more or be more to be worthy of love. Only once you’re thinner, more accomplished, more organized, or more together do you win or earn the prize of happiness. 

All I’ll be happy when’s, tomorrows, maybe’s, or perfect conditions to fulfill your dreams never materialize because you need ‘happiness and worthiness’ to manifest it.

Not good enough is a vicious circle of dissatisfaction blocking all forms of love, joy, and contentment.

Decide NOW is the time: that NOW is the moment to feel good and be loved. Otherwise, you’ll continue to defer love and happiness to a future tomorrow that never comes. Commit to you. 

You Are Afraid Self-Love Isn’t Enough

“I’d rather be loved” sentiment creates the belief that self-love is a poor substitute for another’s love. Because self-love doesn’t feel the same, it must be less gratifying.

Love from another’s doesn’t replace self-love, and self-love is not a replacement for another’s love. We need both.

Self-love attracts love. The level of satisfaction, completeness, acceptance and feel good energy, you cultivate inside, matches the quality of love you attract.

Self-love is the magnetic, attractive force that invites praise, acknowledgment, ‘I love you’, you’re awesome’, ‘wow you excite me’ energy from another. 

Self-love just takes practice and time. While being loved is preferred, comfortable and socially acceptable, don’t skip it just because it may be a little difficult. Make loving you a solid practice and commitment. 

You’re Staying Alone Out of Fear

Call it nice gal shame but I guarantee you’re much too hard on yourself and accepting too little. Add-in the soul-sucking habit of comparing yourself to others, and you have a formula for feeling behind, flawed, and less than.

The belief of ‘not enough’ makes you hide away from your own potential and the connection you crave.  I get it. You don’t want to feel disappointed, let down or rejected. Better to be comfortably alone,  than risk losing what you most desire. Better to stay under the radar, than risk failing.

Or is it?

Isolation keeps you ‘safe’, but alone. Ruining any chance you have to belong and be cherished. It erodes positive belief in all you could experience or accomplish. It keeps you emotionally starved,  rendering you desperately dependent on external attention and approval.

Isolation perpetuates the cycle of low self-worth making you even more vulnerable to disapproval, rejection, heartbreak, and disappointment, you hope to avoid. 

It’s broken cycle of hiding to preserve your dignity while losing your self-worth in the process.

Trust me, any idea’s you have about NOT measuring up, are just thoughts you’re having. Stop debating whether they’re true on not, and love yourself anyway. You need to ACT worthy to FEEL worthy. Being cared for starts with you. 

You Think You Shouldn’t Need It

You think you should be strong independent without the need of others. But self-love is like sleep, without it the body becomes depressed, lethargic, vulnerable, with it, you thrive.

In our accomplishment driven, independence-heralding, convenience based, cram it all in society, self-care is last on the to-do list.  Over-working and over-doing are prized while happiness and leisure are earned.

If you treat self-care as a necessity, you’ll become strong, capable, energized and more positive. You’ll no longer feel driven to earn love, and instead feel deserving of support, acknowledgment and cherishing.

There are no bonus points for enduring, getting through, or being tough. Let’s end the false idea that ‘needing’ love makes you weak or less than, any more than the false belief that ‘being single’ means you’re undesirable, broken, unlovable or flawed. 

Give yourself permission to want love and to allow more ease, connection, fulfillment and happiness. 

In summary, these beliefs are just made up thoughts that keep you safe, single and stuck.

I believe in you, and I want you to believe in yourself, to feel confident to be seen, trust love is on its way, open to new opportunities. All it takes is raising your DESERVE LEVEL by practicing self-love, self-acceptance, and gratitude in small, easy steps, each and every day.

Self-love is to support you need to make the life, happiness and relationship you want a reality: the BRIDGE between where you are and where you want to be.

Once you make self-love a priority, practice and habit then any or all BLOCKS to receiving love, abundance and joy begin to fade. I promise the energy you invest in loving you will return 100-fold. 

You’re worth being cared for.

 

JOIN 10-Day Self-Love Challenge!

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